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Conversation Tip #9: Ask questions
Questions keep the conversation flowing
English teachers will often find helpful to explicitly teach students to ask questions. Encouraging students to “think like a journalist” and consider the five W questions is a useful start: Who? What? Where? When? Why? Two other useful question words: How? And? These simple words can generate interesting, engaging conversations – and allow English language learners to “fake” a higher level of English comprehension than they may possess.
Additionally, most people enjoy answering questions about themselves, so long as the questions seem appropriate. For instance, in certain countries like the United States, asking a casual acquaintance about their job is suitable. On the other hand, asking about weight and height are considered inappropriate. Knowing the boundaries of what questions to ask is an essential conversation skill–and it can take some practice for language learners.
For instance, to play it safe, you might consider these five taboo subjects with casual acquaintances:
1. Personal health or medical details
2. Financial specifics, including salary
3. Racial or ethnic identity
4. Age or weight
5. Religious or political affiliation
In general, we want to encourage our students to ask questions. Sometimes we have to encourage students to ask clarifying questions in our classrooms too. If a student forgets a certain detail or wants advice, they should feel comfortable asking for the answer!
Likewise, students should be mindful not to ask too many questions when first meeting a classmate or stranger. The conversation should not be an interview, much less an interrogation. Friendly, open questions guide the conversation, but they are just one out of many types of statements that can be made.
What questions do you advise your ESL students ask? What conversation tips do you share with your English students?
Ask More. Know More. Share More.
Create Compelling Conversations.
Visit www.compellingconversations.com
Jessica Lu, a first-year student at the University of Chicago, interned for Chimayo Press and the Compelling Conversations blog through the summer of 2014. Over the months, she has perused ESL textbooks, analyzed newspaper articles and tested out mobile apps, seeking out ways to inspire discussion. Each week the Compelling Conversations blog will publish one of her top 10 tips to create compelling conversations outside of the English classroom.
Photo By Ananian (Own work) [CC-BY-SA-3.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0)], via Wikimedia Commons
Conversation Tip #8: Engage in the surrounding world!
Immersion in literature, current events, arts stimulates conversation
Keeping aware improves the possibility of connecting with someone else. For instance, when everyone at the office wants to discuss President Obama’s latest press statement, those who haven’t seen it will have less to contribute. Reading new books, visiting new art displays and seeing new films further shapes opinions. If students don’t want to engage with the surrounding world, how can they possibly want to engage with others who do?
What do your students like to do? How do they share their passions in their conversations?
Ask More. Know More. Share More.
Create Compelling Conversations.
Visit www.compellingconversations.com
Jessica Lu, a first-year student at the University of Chicago, interned for Chimayo Press and the Compelling Conversations blog through the summer of 2014. Over the months, she has perused ESL textbooks, analyzed newspaper articles and tested out mobile apps, seeking out ways to inspire discussion. In the fall of 2014, the Compelling Conversations blog published her top 10 tips to create compelling conversations outside of the English classroom.
Photo By Juanedc from Zaragoza, España [CC-BY-2.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0)], via Wikimedia Commons
Conversation Tip #7: Appreciate silence
Accept–and enjoy–the inevitability of silence!
“Silence is the sleep that nourishes wisdom.”
Many Americans feel uncomfortable with silence, even on crowded elevators or standing in lines with strangers. Some Americans also feel uncomfortable with pauses or periods of silence in conversations.
Pauses in conversation occur frequently, and often naturally. When first meeting new people, students may feel inclined to always fill up the conversation. Sometimes these causal chit-chats fill the space with a smile and good feelings. Though these attempts have good intentions, silence should also not be feared! Silence is sometimes natural. Silence can be a natural part of conversation, letting the speakers take a break and reflect. No one expects the conversation to flow endlessly–nor would this necessarily be desired!
When the conversation stops at a natural part, students can take the time to reflect on whether to add on to what has been said, transition into a new topic or let the other person decide the flow of conversation. The length of a pause also matters. If there seems to be nothing left to say, a question functions as a smooth transition–as long as it is somewhat relevant and within the boundaries of the relationship! And sometimes silence indicates it’s time to close the conversation
How do your students feel about silence in conversation? How do you feel about pauses and some silence in daily conversations?
Ask More. Know More. Share More.
Create Compelling Conversations.
Visit www.compellingconversations.com
Jessica Lu, a first-year student at the University of Chicago, interned for Chimayo Press and the Compelling Conversations blog through the summer of 2014. Over the months, she has perused ESL textbooks, analyzed newspaper articles and tested out mobile apps, seeking out ways to inspire discussion. In the fall of 2014, the Compelling Conversations blog published her top 10 tips to create compelling conversations outside of the English classroom.
Conversation Tip #6: As always, consider context
Context determines boundaries of conversation
“Respect for ourselves guides our morals; respect for others guides our manners.”
How wonderful that there are so many possible relationships to cultivate through conversation! Students, too, must appreciate the variety of things to talk about with every person in their family, classroom and community. However, as always, context counts, and students must be mindful of it when having conversations.
Students must understand the nature and depth of their relationship. Consider the topics they might bring up with friends, like sports, movies, and weekend plans. Compare and contrast these with what would be appropriate to discuss at length with a teacher. Secrets entrusted to long-time family friends might not be so safe in the hands of a new acquaintance! Bringing up religion might not mix so well with the grocery store cashier, even though it’s more than welcome Sunday morning at church. Boundaries must be recognized and not overstepped when making conversation.
All students, whether international or not, should be wary of differing cultural boundaries. Some cultures are more open than others about certain topics, and sometimes even appropriate body language varies greatly. For instance, in some Mediterranean countries, a head nod means “no,” in some Asian communities eye contact reflects disrespect and many middle Easterners prefer soft handshakes, considering them less aggressive. The best approach remains picking up contextual clues.
What types of relationships and conversations do your students have? How can they pick up context clues regarding cultural and other boundaries?
Ask More. Know More. Share More.
Create Compelling Conversations.
Visit www.compellingconversations.com
Jessica Lu, a first-year student at the University of Chicago, interned for Chimayo Press and the Compelling Conversations blog through the summer of 2014. Over the months, she has perused ESL textbooks, analyzed newspaper articles and tested out mobile apps, seeking out ways to inspire discussion. During the fall, the Compelling Conversations blog published her top 10 tips to create compelling conversations outside of the English classroom.
Conversation Tip #5: Search for common interests
Finding commonalities sparks conversations
“Don’t walk behind me, I may not lead. Don’t walk in front of me, I may not follow. Just walk beside me and be my friend.”
We can learn a great deal from our conversations, even about our own interests and hobbies! Finding a commonality generates fantastic interaction because both sides possess enthusiasm over the subject. Potential topics could stem from several categories, such as literature, sports, movies or pastimes.
What’s a good way to find out what you have in common with someone else? Ask questions! Encourage your students to inquire about favorites, dislikes and other types of opinions with each other. You might be pleasantly surprised to find out what they share with others!
What have your students shared about themselves? What do they share in common with each other?
Ask More. Know More. Share More.
Create Compelling Conversations.
Visit www.compellingconversations.com
Jessica Lu, a first-year student at the University of Chicago, interned for Chimayo Press and the Compelling Conversations blog through the summer of 2014. Over the months, she has perused ESL textbooks, analyzed newspaper articles and tested out mobile apps, seeking out ways to inspire discussion. During the fall, the Compelling Conversations blog published her top 10 tips to create compelling conversations outside of the English classroom.
Photo Source: “Elliott Bay Books – author reading 01A” by Joe Mabel – Photo by Joe Mabel. Licensed under Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 3.0 via Wikimedia Commons – http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Elliott_Bay_Books_-_author_reading_01A.jpg#mediaviewer/File:Elliott_Bay_Books_-_author_reading_01A.jpg
